Shiny Things Should Suck Less – Cal Exotics Diamond G

I had this brilliant plan.  That plan was to get together a list of under $50 sex toys that were good for those who were new to toys.  I figured it might be helpful, especially considering all the reviews out there that list junk toys as “good for beginners.”  I realized I didn’t have a lot of toys in that price range, so I bought up some stuff.  Enter Cal Exotics Diamond G.

Cal Exotics Diamond G

The Diamond G is cute, which is really what drew me to it as an option in my search.  It has little crystals on the handle in a shooting star sort of pattern.  It’s not made of jelly or other materials I wouldn’t let near my crotch, so it passed that test.  Cheap, pretty, not harmful.  Sounds good so far, right?

So here’s where I’d normally tell you the best use for this toy.  I honestly cannot for the life of me decide if this is intended to be used internally or externally.  You’ll see why when we get to the size section.  I can tell you that it shouldn’t be used anally, as it lacks a flared base.  Past that, I’m sort of at a loss.  It’s shaped like it should go inside of you, but sized like it shouldn’t.  Color me confused.

MATERIAL

Diamond G is made of plastic.  It’s ABS with PU cote at all the black parts.  The silver part is ABS with silver plating.  The crystals are glass.  Well, the package says glass, but it’s just those little cheap crystals which I didn’t think were actually made of glass.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Anyhow, plastic is non-porous and free of phthalates.

Plastic is hard, so don’t expect any give with this toy.  It’s a firm material that won’t bend in any way.  It has the PU cote which makes it matte and gives it a more velvety feel than you would get from a regular plastic toy.  It’s not velvety like silicone is velvety, but it has a softer feel than shiny plastic does.  There’s a seam that runs along the body.  It can be felt with the hand, but I didn’t notice it in use.  There’s no texturing to the material.

It’s not jelly, rubber, latex, or any number of other materials I dislike, so I guess that’s a positive for the Diamond G.  The fact that it doesn’t cause harm or burn my insides is about the most positive thing I can say, so I figured I might as well play up the one positive point here for a minute.

SIZE

So here’s where the problems begin.  When I purchased this, I glanced at the diameter, but not the length.  I eyeballed it from the photos and assumed it was a slightly short vibrator.  I was way off, proving I really need to pay attention to measurements.  The length is 4.25″ total and 2.25″ insertable.  It is 1.25″ in diameter at the widest which is at the point.  It then comes in to 1″ and comes out to 1 1/8″.

Size Diagram

Diamond G in Hand

So my question with the size is then – what do I do with this?  The shape and name clearly indicate that this is G spot oriented, but then 2.5″ insertable?  Really?  Now, I know most women’s G spots aren’t located that far back, but some women have deeper G spots than others and some (like me) need the length to be able to hook the shape upward.  If your G spot is shallow it may work, but otherwise, this just won’t be enough length to work as an insertable toy.  G spot aside, I don’t know too many people who are going to be satisfied with that length.  I’ve seen reviews for 4″ insertable toys complaining about the length, so I have a sinking feeling that 2.5″ just won’t be pleasing a majority of women.  No complaints about the diameter, as it’s small enough to be comfortable for users at most levels but not so small that you can’t feel it.

DESIGN

Design of Diamond G

 The shape is, as mentioned, in a sort of G spot curve.  Well, it’s more like a G spot point.  Which again makes me wonder who designed this because I know I just love pointy stuff inside of me.  The rounded head itself has the right idea, but then it comes out into this pointed tip that pokes at you during use.  Now, if you use this externally, it’s good for pinpointing.  Which again leaves me confused as to what I’m supposed to be doing with this.

The shaft is waved.  It comes inward from the head and then goes back outward in a bulge.  It then comes back inward very slightly before reaching the handle.  The handle has the cute little crystals on it that make it pretty.  If you want to keep these from falling off, clear nail polish does the trick, or so I hear.

OPERATING THE DIAMOND G

Diamond G Controls

Diamond G is controlled by one button at the base of the toy.  The idea is that you press once to turn on, again to change functions.  To turn off you scroll through the functions until you get through them all and then it turns off.  Okay, simple enough.  Can’t mess that up, right?  Well, you’d think.

The controls work about half the time.  There have been times I’ve had to spend FIVE minutes trying to get this thing on.  Once it’s on, it scrolls through the functions fine, but it glitches for the “on” feature.  It turns on for half a second and then right back off.  I’ve tried pressing the button for a long time, a short time, a medium amount of time.  I’ve even tried pressing it more than once quickly, thinking maybe there was some special pattern I needed to master.  Nope, it’s just plain glitchy.

VIBRATIONS AND PATTERNS

There are three “intense” functions to the Diamond G.  These are all at the same power level, so hopefully you like the one that’s been selected.  The first setting is constant vibration.  The second is a quick pulse.  The final one is a 1-2-3-4-5 pulse.   Not a lot of options available, which is another issue I have.  You don’t have to have Zini’s gazillion patterns, but at least two power levels would be nice.

Diamond G Battery Compartment

The vibrations are super buzzy.  They actually physically hurt my clit when I tried to use this externally.  I was finally able to get it on there for longer than a second and I quickly got itchy and numb.  Lovely reward for all that effort.  The vibrations are loud and sound like they’ll have some power behind them, but they really don’t.  They’re about average for toys in this price range, maybe a little higher.  I’d say on a 1-5 scale they would be a high level three.  The vibrations are so surface level that you lose a lot of the vibrations as soon as they contact your skin, however.  So then then end up actually feeling more like a low three or even a two.  This is more evident externally than internally when you’re applying some pressure.

You’ll need two AAA batteries to operate the toy, not included in the packaging.   They insert at the base which unscrews.

RECOMMENDATION

Just…no.  I can maybe see that if you’ve never tried anything before that somehow this might seem decent.  I’ve seen the reviews of this that make it sound great, so I’m assuming that’s what happened.  Rest assured, you can do better.  Even if you have a shallow G spot, the vibrations are bad.  And even if you like buzzy vibrations AND have a shallow G spot, there’s the issue with it not wanting to turn on half the time.  Don’t be tempted by the pretty crystals.  I know it’s hard, but the lack of options, crazy buzzy vibrations, and glitchy performance add up to “don’t buy this.”  It’s rare when I say no one should buy something, but there have got to be better options than this.  I’m still working on my list of cheap alternatives, so right now I don’t have anything compatible in this price range.  I can say that Evolved has the Diamond Lustre which is pretty much the same size with the crystals and all on it and the vibrations don’t suck quite as much, or at least aren’t as buzzy.  I still wouldn’t call it a recommended product, but if you just must have a mini G spot toy, that one is better than this one.  When I find something that is better than that and cheap, I’ll let you know.

CARE

Plastic can be washed with soap and water, toy cleaner, toy spray, or wipes.  This is listed as a waterproof toy, but to be honest I don’t really trust it since it was glitching out already.  I would treat it as splash proof more than waterproof.  In other words, don’t dunk it in water.  Don’t boil it or stick it in the dishwasher.

You can use silicone, water, or oil based lubricants with this toy.  For storage, you can use a baggie or pouch.  You could actually just put it in a drawer and you’d be fine.

PACKAGING

Diamond G Packaging

There’s nothing I love more than a nice package presentation.  That’s not the case here.  Diamond G come in a plastic shell with a paper insert.  The paper insert has a blonde woman making some type of “sexy” kissy face.  It says “Bound by Diamonds Diamond ‘G’” and, yes, the G is in quotations.  It lists the features which include “3 intense functions” and “exquisite diamond detail.”  The back has a photo of the toy with the same woman posing sexy again and the same wording.  This time the features also include “easy push button control” (ha) and “soft, satin finish.”  All of the contact information for the company is listed along with the list of disclosures that comes with most cheaper toys.  Sold as a novelty item, etc.  It does not include batteries.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

Add this to my list of worst toy experiences ever.  Externally, it just plain hurt.  The vibrations were too buzzy, and I don’t even mind buzzy – up to a point.  These were well past that point.   Internally, it felt pokey.  The little tip kept hitting me all the wrong places and just wasn’t pleasant.  I couldn’t get anywhere near my G spot with this because I need curve to do that.  Sometimes I can get pressure with things like this (if they’re longer) by inserting at an angle.  I couldn’t do that because of how short this was.  I also couldn’t really thrust, again, because it’s too short.  I’m left confused by this and what exactly its purpose is.  If it didn’t say “G” all over it, I’d just call it a clit vibe and be done with it, but it markets itself as a G spot vibrator.  A short, pokey G spot vibrator.  Really, it doesn’t matter which it’s supposed to do because it didn’t do either one well.

IN CONCLUSION

I try really hard not to give out one star ratings, really I do.  If this didn’t have the glitching button issue, I may be nice enough to give it two on the off chance that maybe there’s someone somewhere this may work for (but I’m very doubtful).  Given that it not only has bad vibrations and options, but also only turns on when it feels like it, there’s just not enough positive going on here to give it above a one.  It didn’t completely fall apart, but it’s glitchy enough to count off points.  It’s not jelly and that’s what earns it the whole one star its getting.

Rating:  1/5
Intensity:  3/5
Noise Level:  3/5

©Kira’s Kink – All content is property of Kira and Kira’s Kink. You may not use this content without my permission. Any use of this content without my permission is considered copyright infringement.